Portalair's Day

Surprised

portalair — Wed, 30 Nov 2011 05:19:00 +0000

I’m genuinely surprised that I still get some views on this blog. Or maybe it’s just me checking on my phone. (lmao) if it isn’t then sweet haha. Well (switching music for different mood) there we go. Now to continue where I left off.
Lately my life has been very confusing. I just don’t know what to do. I don’t know whether to be happy or sad. I don’t know if I’m enjoying or loathing my life. Lately my life has been pretty down. This past 3 weeks have just been awful. But I’ve had friends like Mary, Daisy, Jasmine, Cassidy and others that have helped me make it through this rough moment. Thanks again <3.
It seems that I have been wasting my time. I just don’t know what to do. Maybe I should find a job. Though it would be difficult because I don’t know how to(LOL) especially with usually crap like English class and all the freaking projects. It’s ridiculous. Fmlfml
It kinda sucks knowing that you will never find the perfect girl. Do other people get lucky? Or am I just missing something. Do other people have something I don’t. My senior, well high school years have suckered pretty badly. It just hasn’t worked out the way I wanted it to. I don’t even want to see college. Slutmania??? Or is it just high school. Its sad to see all these girls get sluttier and sluttier. Then again they can all die. I just don’t like them. At all. It always feels like girls are there to back stab you. I’ve been back stabbed before. And here I am now. Well it could be worse. And I’m thankful for the friends I have now. I just hope it’ll get better.

Friends

portalair — Tue, 15 Nov 2011 04:40:05 +0000

It seems as though mmy friends are diminishing. Mmy connections are being broken. And the one I trust is becoming one in which I no longer trust. What is one to do in this situation. Where one is all alone. What did I do to even get here. Even if it’s a small infatuation why does the world deem it taboo. It should strengthen the ties as long as the interest stays in the right department. Oh I don’t know. I gues I’m slowly and slowly being forced back into an isolation that was made from my sins and heresy. But how do I change this. Repentance. I don’t know. I just want a companion that will be there for me if I need them and I’ll be there for them. Oh sigh. Hopefully life works out for the better. Hoping for the best.

The second one.

portalair — Mon, 07 Nov 2011 00:14:25 +0000

I see myself very confused. I’m guessing the point of life is having to cut corners and deal with what you have. Now don’t misinterpret what I am about to say. Modern females annoy me very greatly. If only life were a fantasy where you would get your one true love. Now that’s too good to be true. When it comes to relationships its all about cutting corners. With both sides. Not just females.
But what I suffer is I end up realizing the actual worth of someone when it’s too late or was never possible.
It’s true, but I am infatuated with someone, but it’s not one of those “she’s hot” kind of meaningless feelings most people my age experience. It’s one of those where you fall in love with their personality and that’s the type of girl you want for your whole life. Specialization is such a downer. You get one or the other. I myself am a balance type. Even in rpgs I balance things. A little bit of everything. Why can’t more girls be like that? Beauty is mainstream, and so are most females. Those who focus on the outside have nothing but a hollow interior. I for one fall in love with the ones that are filled with sweet chocolate in the middle and just a dash of sprinkles on top. That’s the type of girl I like.
An individual, unique. Why would I want someone who acts like everyone else, that looks like everyone else. It saddens me what these girls do these days. Just be yourself, not wholesale to the world.
Every perfect is being taken and the supply is running out. Am I noticing the attributes of the individuals later to remind me what I’m looking for? Man I hope my future will be enjoyable. Otherwise I’ll stay a kid.

Different topic. I got some new software to work with and make videos with. They are coming out quite well. Can’t wait to make more.
That’s it for today.

November update

portalair — Fri, 04 Nov 2011 02:46:00 +0000

So today I decided to update this blog for this month. Well today I found out that I was cursed since I was about 14. Yeah I had a bad promise that I shouldn’t have and now I’m in this hole. It’s quite sad actually. I just don’t know what to do with my life anymore. I feel like I’m in a Shakespeare play. Tradgedy to be exact. Feel like I’m about to have a great fall. Though i’ve already had several.
My life just isn’t what it used to be. I I don’t know what happened. Everyday the world is just getting worse and worse and it depresses me. Why can’t the world just be a big happy place. Not with every ignorant person heating others, thinking they are always right and littering and whatnot. Hate it when people take stuff for granted.
So today I decided to cut my let’s play series and wait for Halo Anniversary to come out. It just seems like a better idea and I have everything more planned out than I did earlier. Hopefully everything will go well.
Well that seems to be the end of this update. Maybe I’ll post more I don’t know. Goodnight